i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
