so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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