Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
