Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
