so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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