no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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