i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
