It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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