my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize