he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm having to shit out rocks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
