I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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