I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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