the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My feet surprised me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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