i think my tv is drunk
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drunk is not a location!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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