I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
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Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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