i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
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