How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize