apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
