You work out of a Hotel?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
