How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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