Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
