gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Screwed.edu
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
