Quick, to the slutcave!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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