We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
