Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize