He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
