if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
