Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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