Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
