i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
