Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
