She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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