You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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