wanna go halves on a baby?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
