I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
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Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize