It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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