4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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