He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
