I think im going to throw up on grandma
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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