why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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