She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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