I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
