Fuck appropriateness.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
