Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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