my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I understand Curling. That high.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize