I think scott just propositioned me for sex
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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