Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize