Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize