I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You did what with his pubic hair?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
