I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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