he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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