physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
