You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
