: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
