I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
