I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
