I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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