Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
