dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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