Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
