You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
