Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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