with your own penis?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do