I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".