I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center