how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".