I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse