i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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