I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
