Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
